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|Author:||Rohan2 [ Sat Feb 11, 2006 4:34 am ]|
|Post subject:||Anger Management|
How to control your temper
There's nothing wrong with getting angry. How you express it is what it's all about.
Here's How: oIf you're too angry to think rationally, remove yourself from the situation.
oGive yourself a few quiet minutes alone to cool down. Think of something relaxing.
oWhen you feel your body relax, take a few deep breaths.
oReturn to the original situation and try a different approach.
oIf your new approach doesn't help you stay in control of your temper, repeat steps 1-4
oFind something that relaxes you (music, skateboarding, drawing, etc.) and do it regularly.
oIf you've got a problem with someone, don't hold it inside, let him/her know about it.
Types of anger
Rage is the expression of violent, uncontrolled anger. Rage is an outward expression of anger and can result in a visible, often destructive, explosion. If Lucille took the plate she had in her hand and threw it against the wall causing it to break into pieces as a reaction to her husband's suggestion, this behavior would exhibit rage.
Resentment is the feeling of anger directed towards a person or object which is suppressed and kept inside. It is a feeling which smolders and feels uncomfortable, and can possibly create more physiological and psychological damage. If John listened to his mother's comment but did not respond by explaining the reality to her, he would harbor feelings of resentment.
Indignation is regarded as appropriate, controlled, positive type of anger. Though Susan felt like screaming when the doctor's office canceled her appointment, she calmly told the secretary she was disappointed but understood and rescheduled the appointment.
The three types of anger can occur separately or in combination, depending on the situation. With an understanding of the different types of anger, it may become easier to deal with situations which provoke these feelings.
Anger exists in the mind and is a direct result of your thoughts. An event does not make you angry, but your interpretation of the event and how you think and feel can lead to anger. Certain things can be done to make the feelings of anger more controllable and manageable.
Step 1- Admit you are angry. Recognizing that you are angry is the first step in dealing with it. Some people find it difficult to admit they are angry perhaps because they view their feelings as inappropriate or not valid. These people may deny their feelings therefore choosing not to deal with them.
Step 2- Identify the source of the anger. Realizing what is causing you to feel angry is important in dealing with the real problem. Often the real problem can be confused with other issues or other emotions. In example 1, is Lucille truly angry with her husband or is she angry because her illness is an interference in her daily routine? If Lucille is misdirecting her anger at her husband rather than the true source, the problem becomes compounded.
Step 3 - Feeling angry? Why? Recognizing the reason for your feelings of anger is an important step in dealing with the anger. After analyzing the reasons, you will decide in your mind if the anger is reasonable or justifiable.
If you decide the anger is unrealistic you can diffuse the feelings. If you decide the anger is realistic, you can better decide how to deal with your feelings.
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