Life's Most Embarrassing moments Oops!
by Rikaza Hassan
@ SO / 05MAR2006
The slippers were perfect for a few days, (I liked it, he liked it, everyone at work loved it) until I happened to take a shopping trip to Wellawatte. Perhaps it was God punishing me for the sudden expenses I was to incur, or maybe I should not have gotten to rid of those faded old clothes.
My chastisement began with my leaving the office when I managed to skid down the stairs, arms wildly flaying, flat on my back. Trying to save some pride, I picked myself up, as the security stared with eyes wide open, and walked as fast as possible to the bus stand and to find salvation in some healthy shopping.
My newfound deliverance was not long lived though, for, as I walked in search of yet another bus stand I managed to trip over a few stones, loose complete balance and fall flat on my back as plastic bags containing new clothes scattered all over me, and the dirt ridden path.
People I did not wish to associate with from nearby podi kades almost ran to my side, helping me up and picking up my precious bags. My pride extremely hurt, I brushed off as much grime off my butt as I could, before hurriedly leaving the little crowd that had accumulated.
God it seemed was not very happy with me that particular day, for as I took my tenth step down I went again, landing on my butt.
This time people actually laughed out loud, while others inquired about my health. Feeling extremely low, I managed to cry myself home amidst even more stares from fellow travellers.
My own embarrassment lay in having lost my poise, having lost complete control leaving my emotions to run riot. The brother of a very good friend of mine experienced extreme emotions a few years ago, only in a very different way. A student of a leading school in Colombo, the 13-year-old had no idea that growing up entailed going through puberty.
So when the frightened little boy began to experience wet dreams ever so often, he began to believe that he was suffering from a rare kind of cancer. Being ashamed to talk to his older sister of his 'health' problem, he instead took it to his friends, who being as ignorant as himself, took upon them the liberty of muddling up his already worried mind.
As his anxiety grew, he finally summoned up the courage to talk to his father, who after a hearty laugh explained the natural situation he was in, and of course told everyone he could find about it. The now 16-year-old still finds many a joke being made at his expense at family functions.
What a pee-ling?
Then there was the ex-boy friend of a girl friend of mine who literally managed to pee in his pants. Shehantha was completely sober, as he, his girl friend and their friends took a walk in Galle Face in the night. As they walked on the dried grass, the wind whipping at their hair, Shehantha heard nature call to him quite urgently.
Where better to zip down that fly and urinate but the sea. right? Wrong. For as Shehantha unfortunately discovered, the wind whipping at his hair was blowing in the direction opposite to his requirements and resulted in wet pants and a very bad smell. His night came to a shocking and quick end as he returned home in his boxers still smelling of urine.
My long time pal Sharmini found her ability to fall sleep anywhere at any time, the cause of her most embarrassing moment. As she settled herself in a seat near the window in the bus after a tiring tuition class, who manages to sit himself right next to her but the best looking guy in class, whom she had an enormous crush on. He had always paid her a little extra attention and trying to 'be cool' she simply took out her text and began to read away in an attempt to ignore him.
What she did not count on as she dreamt of them cavorting about on lush green hills, quite akin to a dance number in a Hindi film, was for her day dreaming to put her to sleep. Her awakening was brutal, as she hit the steel bar of the next seat.
The ever solicitous guy of course asked her if she was alright and offered a shoulder to sleep on. "That was the day I cursed my previously prided ability and wished I was an insomniac."
And then there was hard core feminist, Kasuni. The young woman always prided herself on paying for everything by herself and having never accepted help from any man in her life. She did not like having doors opened or seats offered to her; so when she went out on a date with the hunk from work, she insisted from the start that she pay the bill.
The smart man readily accepted, they had dinner in a fancy restaurant infamous for its extravagant prices and the bill arrived. Being a very modern woman who did not believe in carrying cash anywhere, she promptly whipped out one of her credit cards and handed it to the waiter.
Kasuni however had not done her homework for the meal was more expensive than she could believe, for her card was rejected, just as the other two cards that she offered. At last she was forced to ask her now smug looking date to pay, and whose American Express had absolutely no problem with the machine.
She could not face the guy again; even to pay back the excessive cost of the dinner. Finally, there was dear old Uncle Daya who was always in a hurry. One particular day he was in more late than usual, and scrambled into his clothes before you could say, look out! Gobbling down his second tea, he gets in to the company vehicle and drives off in to the traffic and to his office. As he walked into the building he realised that all the staffers in the ground floor stared at his feet with smirks on their faces.
Perplexed the man looked down to find a wrinkled underwear around his feet.
Uncle Daya beat a hasty retreat and since, always removes his underwear from his trousers before he hangs them up. Embarrassments that come our way are both varied and most perplexing.
Yet it is these moments that disperses of the nonchalant veneer that we try and wrap our selves in. It is these moments that show at least a part of our true selves to both stranger and friend.
It is these moments that we will relate to our grandchildren in an attempt to make them laugh heartily.
* Names have been change